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'While relationships are extremely important to us, the only person that can truly complete you is yourself.'
'Do not allow that to take a back seat,' advises relationship expert Shahzeen Shivdasani.
When it comes to relationships, sometimes, we tend to be of the 'giving' mindset.
We give and we give and we give, till there is no energy left to give ourselves.
While it is important to be there for others and nurture your relationships, setting healthy boundaries ensures that you take care of yourself too.
Not setting these boundaries will only cause resentment towards others as you aren't taking the time to focus on your own self-care.
Eventually, you will get sick of continuously pleasing everyone around you and at the core, you will start to wonder, 'Why aren't you taking the time to please me?'
If you want to have a happy, healthy and steady relationship, here are five boundaries to set for yourself in 2022.
1. Be assertive
Learn to say NO!
If you can't attend something, or don't want to involve yourself in something, or can't do something for someone at the time, it is okay to say NO.
Learn to be assertive and not take on more than you can chew.
Saying this powerful word ensures that you stand up for yourself. It is a healthy boundary to have because most people keep saying the word YES!
They do this to please their loved ones. However, if your loved ones love you, they have to respect your boundaries and not rope you into things you are not willing to do or can do.
It is okay to not want to do EVERYTHING for someone.
2. Cut out the drama
Holding on to people or situations that cause you drama will leave you in an unhealthy space.
While it is good to believe in people and give people chances, everything comes with a time limit if it affects your mental peace.
Learn to put yourself first by taking a step back and either distancing yourself from said person or the situation. Remember, negativity always outweighs positivity.
3. Pick your battles
Sometimes we need to let things go!
At the same time, healthy communication is important especially if something is bothering you.
Know the difference between anxiety that you are causing yourself and something bothering you.
Have an outlet for overthinking a situation through mediation or journaling.
Setting a boundary where you take a take some time to analyse how important something is to address and to be able to address it in a calm state of mind, is key!
4. Value your opinion
You don't need to argue your point if you truly believe in it.
You can listen and respect others' opinions but learn to respect your own.
You do not have to agree or waver on what you believe in, to 'fit in', but can hear what the other person has to say and respect their opinion as well.
Having your own opinion is what makes you unique. And just because someone has a different way of thinking than you, it doesn't make them right, it just makes them different.
Learn to be okay with that.
5. 'Me' time is important
Setting a good timetable for yourself to follow so you complete your set goals for the day or taking the time to unwind, all count as ways of putting yourself first.
Ensure that you are taking care of yourself by giving yourself undivided time to do the things that make you feel whole as a human being.
While relationships are extremely important to us, the only person that can truly complete you is yourself.
Do not allow that to take a back seat and stick to whatever you set out to do. Learn to compartmentalise.
If you don't set boundaries for yourself, ask yourself this: 'Can you really give anyone anything if your glass is neither full, half full, but simply just empty?'
