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Why am I not successful?
Why is it not happening for me?
Why is my life all messed up?'
Do these questions haunt you every day?
Are these the questions that keep you awake at night?
I have been in this situation, and it is not at all pleasant.
You begin regretting, and shaming yourself for not being able to do what you love, for being stuck in the same job and not being able to leave it for a thousand-odd reasons, even though you have the potential to make things happen, and above all, be happy for yourself.
There are several reasons for your current situation in life.
Here are a few of the important ones:
1. Sabse Bada Rog, 'Kya Kahenge Log?'
Each one of us has suffered from this for the most part of our lives. And many of us are still suffering.
We care more about what people will say about our actions and our decisions than we do about our own selves.
We work at the same job, holding onto the same place, restricting ourselves to mundaneness, just because someone or the other close to us does not think that it is the right thing to do, or that it's not the right time to do it.
Don't let other people make decisions for you. People have always got something to say about everything.
Stop listening to others and do what you are truly passionate about. Do what you love.
"Intuition is the best life guide you can ever have. Don't let opinions blur your path."
2. Fear of failure
We fear failing.
There are two possible reasons for this; either we are too accustomed to winning over small things/goals, or we don't have the courage to risk all that we have achieved till now for something with an uncertain future.
People fear failure primarily when they have low self-confidence, and a lack of faith in their own efforts, skills and the opportunity.
Every entrepreneur, at one point in his start-up journey, has to take a leap of faith.
You can't always take calculated risks.
Sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and build the plane on your way down.
You can overcome fear of failure through the following ways:
"Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is the execution of actions in fear"
3. Self-doubt
Self-doubt is a battle that goes on within each of us.
It's the little voice inside our heads that tells us we can't do something.
It affects us at both personal and professional levels.
It keeps us from trying new things, thereby sabotaging our success and growth.
Self-doubt stops us from grabbing new opportunities and exploring new options.
In a moment of self-doubt, the best thing to do is to recall all your victories in the past. This will boost your confidence.
Do a positive self-talk daily. Practice self-compassion.
4. Habits
Yes, habits!
Our success is, to a great extent, determined by our habits.
You can't expect to put food on the table by doing nothing. Similarly, you have to work on your habits to be someone you desire to be.
Discover the habits of successful people, and think about why they may be responsible for success.
Understand these habits, and the people's personality traits.
Once you know what made these people who and what they are, you should decide which of your habits need to change.
You must also figure out what new habits you are going to develop.
Take feedback from people who know you well, and you will figure out what you need to change.
Make sure you take feedback from people who are successful in life. Create habit trackers to regulate new habits and remove unwanted ones.
5. Lack of Motivation
Every great deed in the world is fueled by unwavering motivation.
Motivation is what keeps you going during tough times.
It is what gets you back on your feet after you fall flat on your face.
It is the fuel you need to make a successful entrepreneurial journey.
Many of us, sadly, don't have any motivation in life. Such people accept life as it comes, and do little to achieve anything.
They are laid back folks, who do just enough to fill their bellies.
You must know your "why".
You must know WHY you are doing something.
Your 'why' will motivate you to take risks and bold steps. It will help you to make decisions in tough situations.
6. Excuses
Many of us have the habit of giving excuses and blaming others for our situation.
Every time we fail, or something goes wrong, we blame something or someone else for it.
Excuses are the temporary shade that weak people seek in tough times.
What excuses give you is an easy escape from reality.
They make you cheat yourself. And that is why you will never grow and succeed in life.
Be honest with yourself and face the situation with courage.
This attitude will help you learn many things about yourself and the world.
Stop making excuses!
7. Your past
Many of us live too much in the past. We hold on to our sorrows and losses.
This blinds us to the opportunities that the current moment presents.
The past is a learning experience, and should be used to gather wisdom.
Unfortunately, many of us hold on to it, continuously, obsessively pondering what we could have done to change it for the better.
Respect what you have gone through, and learn, and prepare for the opportunities that future holds.
Dream big, dare boldly and act consistently.
I would like to hear your opinions and thoughts on this topic.
Gratitude! Let's share and grow together.
Lead image used for representational purposes only. Photograph: Bart/Creative Commons
The author Nitinkumar Gove is an entrepreneur, business enthusiast and a start-up evangelist from Pune, India. He blogs at 72, Leocraft.
