Rediff.com« Back to articlePrint this article

5 tips to manage a co-worker you dislike

January 26, 2017 09:07 IST

Rather than moaning, grinning, and gossiping, be reasonable and logical while you speak with them.

You might like to work in an office, but working with someone you hate can be challenging.

Every working professional would have had an experience with a not-so-pleasurable colleague who gets on their nerves the second they step inside the office space!

You don't have to justify why you don't like them.

While it's not realistic for you to expect to get along with everyone, differences occur on the basis of ideologies, upbringing and other socio-cultural factors.

If it were up to you, you would've avoided that person completely, but the twist in the matter is that you have to work with them.

So, here are five tips to deal with a colleague you don't like.

#1. Voice your needs

If there is something you dislike about a person, then let them know about it.

It's very easy to get lost in translation and hence, a direct one-to-one conversation is much needed.

Avoid using accusatory language while making a conversation and wait for a response.

Sometimes, people do things without realising the consequences, and you'd be nothing but surprised to find out that their 'cold behaviour' was not intentional in the first place.

#2. Know your triggers

It's very easy to get angry at someone else's behaviour.

There are certain things a person says, or the way they talk that gets on your nerves and triggers you off.

What is important for you is to find out the things that act as a trigger and put a check on them before you let the fury loose.

If you remain careful enough to realise who pushes your buttons and what sets you off, the next time that happens, you won't erupt angrily and make a mess of your career.

#3. Ditch the expectation

It's pretty common for people to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to their co-workers.

We expect them to act in a way that we like, or say things that are in consonance with our ideologies, but that's never going to happen.

Every person is different, and expectations will only lead to frustrations and disappointments.

#4. Express yourself honestly

Once you have identified the triggers, it's a good idea to open up in a civilised manner and talk about it with the person concerned.

Rather than moaning, grinning, and gossiping about them, portray the kind of professionalism that you would like to see and make sure you are reasonable and logical while you speak with them.

Tell them about your part of the problem, and also inform them in clear yet uncondescending tone, about what you feel about a particular situation.

#5. Everyone needs compassion

So what if it's an office and you are in a rat race, one should never forget that at the end of the day, everyone -- from your crazy boss to the chirpy intern, your favourite colleague or your 'frenemy' at work -- all of them are human beings and seek comfort and compassion.

As Dalai Lama says, 'Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.'

In every situation, try to remain as calm as one can be and walk away as the bigger person.

It's perfectly normal to dislike someone or if someone dislikes you at work, what's crucial is to have fun and do the best work that you can while remaining calm, professional, and positive.

Just remember, every person is unique and it does not make you or them good or bad!

Lead image published only for representational purposes. Photograph: Wolfgang Rattay/Reuters

Sromona Bhattacharyya