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If your partner can cheat on his other long-term partner, he can do the same to you one day, warns rediffGURU Ravi Mittal.
Have you been single for too long?
Are you dating someone who is not ready to commit?
How do you deal with your emotions when you find out that your long-term partner has cheated on you?
rediffGURU Ravi Mittal is the CEO and founder of QuackQuack, an online dating platform.
He is an expert on dating and relationships.
Anonymous: Hi, I have been in a relationship with a man for three years.
We both love each other and recently I got to know that he's already in a relationship with someone from 10 years.
Still, he says he loves me and wants to be with me.
He told the same to that girl in front of me. I'm confused and not understanding what to do. Please help.
Dear Anonymous, I understand your concern and I also get how difficult it must be to even consider breaking up with someone you love.
Dealing with betrayal and uncertainty in a relationship is incredibly challenging.
But here's the thing -- if your partner can cheat on his other long-term partner, he can do the same to you one day.
I suggest giving yourself some space from the relationship so that you have enough room to think and, if at all you want, reconsider. Emotions will only cloud your judgment.
Step back and reflect on how comfortable you are being with someone who has been involved with multiple people while he was professing his love for you.
Above all, consider your mental well-being.
Ask yourself if a relationship that is causing you so much pain and confusion is worth the effort.
Here's what I think -- continuing to be in the relationship will ease your pain temporarily. True.
But, in the longer run, the same issue will keep poking its head up now and then.
A year or two later, you might look back and think that you rushed into it.
So don't rush. Take your sweet time. You deserve better.
Best wishes!
Anonymous: We dated for around 1.5 months and after that, he broke up with me ... And that was something that I never expected as he was my first boyfriend.
It was really hard to get a control over me. But rediffgurus really helped me ...
Even after 8 months I just can't stop thinking of him or imagining scenarios. The situation is better than before.
So after 4 days his birthday is coming and I am in dilemma whether I should wish him or not because I don't want to start things up.
I just wanna normally wish but at the same time I am confused. It shouldn't create misunderstandings.
As it's been days that I have been thinking about this. What should I do?
Anonymous, I can understand your dilemma.
While your intentions might be pure, I would still suggest you not contact him.
Since he has left, let him be in the past and try to move forward.
Why am I suggesting against it?
Well, it sounds very simple; you just want to wish him as a friend. But what if he replies and you realise that you weren't emotionally ready for it?
It might distress you or bring back unwanted emotions.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make but since you are unsure, it might be best to not reach out and stick to the side of caution.
Focus on your growth and healing and with time, these feelings will diminish in intensity.
Best wishes!
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