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You must heal from a relationship fully before jumping into another one, advises rediffGURU Anu Krishna.
Do you still think about your ex?
Are you in touch with her/him and want to reconcile?
Are you struggling to move on to a new committed relationship?
How can you to navigate your feelings when you are in love with more than one person at the same time?
rediffGURU Anu Krishna, a mind/life coach and NLP trainer with over 18 years of experience in helping people understand and solve their problems, is the co-founder of Unfear Changemakers.
Anonymous: Dear Anu, I am a highly introverted girl with no friends. I am preparing for a tough, competitive exam.
I loved a guy and was dating him for five years. However, due to our diametrically opposite career choices and uncertain future, and after two years of a long-distance relationship, he broke up with me.
We talked about reconciliation in the future if things turned out in our favour. But I feel he is indifferent regarding the breakup as he went to Goa just after that.
In frustration, I texted a guy from my inbox who wanted to meet me. So I met him. He is good, intellectual, and highly principled.
We never formally asked each other to date, but he was helping me out with my exams, and we achieved many milestones together. But after some time I got introduced to his short temper and dominating behaviour which bothers me a lot and I talked about it many times with him.
I cry every single day (it's been five months now) since we broke up.
I met a new guy I don't love but he has done a lot for me, so I don't want to hurt him.
I am facing this mental turmoil over whether to stay in this new relationship or wait for my ex to reconcile with me as I still love him a lot.
Dear Anonymous, what you need is a good break from relationships. Till you learn to appreciate yourself, no one else is going to!
You have just gotten into another relationship on rebound and obviously, when you are in a weak place, his dominant nature is going to be prominent.
Heartbreaks are very difficult but, before you processed it, you have jumped into the arms of another.
When I say 'process', I mean evaluating what went wrong and what was right in the previous relationship. This will help you understand what you want in a relationship and how to spot red flags in one.
That is why I keep stressing on healing from a relationship fully before jumping into another one.
At this point, you need a break from it all. You will be doing yourself a huge favour.
All the best!
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