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'Your marriage requires a complete RESET. Push that button and go back to where it all began with no baggage, no expectations and no complaining,' advises rediffGURU Anu Krishna, while counselling a married guy who has grown distant from his wife.
Are you growing distant from your partner?
Do you feel attracted to someone else?
Are you feeling unsure because of this emotional confusion?
How do you navigate such a situation?
'Working on a marriage is a task that requires effort and a certain kind of stubbornness that will help you overcome the challenges that can emerge,' advises rediffGURU Anu Krishna, the co-founder of Unfear Changemakers and a mind/life coach and NLP trainer with over 18 years of experience in helping people understand and solve their problems.
She can guide you when it comes to relationship challenges.
Do check out her detailed advice on how to deal with a marriage that is falling apart.
Dhruv: I have been married for 13 years. It was a love marriage.
We don't have any kids.
We tried, but due to medical complications, we could not have a child.
After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on.
Since the last three to four years, we have slowly been drifting apart.
Though we are together, the love and sense of togetherness has gone.
We talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives, etc, but never about us.
That feeling of being loved is missing. We don't even hug each other anymore.
While we still care for each other, it doesn't feel like love any more.
Recently, I met someone through work and I felt a connection with her.
With her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife.
She makes me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her. I want to be with her, talk to her.
It also makes me guilty because somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work.
I am torn between what is right and what is wrong.
If I think about myself and my happiness, it hurts my wife.
Am I being selfish?
Should I restrict my feelings? Please advise a way out.
Dear Dhruv, the easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one.
Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else, so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
If you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things better?
Working on a marriage is a task that requires effort and a certain kind of stubbornness that will help you overcome the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET so push that button and go back to where it all began with no baggage, no expectations and no complaining.
When you accept a situation, then do so fully.
You can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart? It only suggests that it was a compromise and not acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another.
Begin life afresh; date one another. Laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life.
Most importantly, support one another completely. That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more.
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