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'My heartbeat playing the first ball and playing my last ball was the same. My heartbeat was the same throughout my (second) innings. That's how nervous I was feeling'
India batter Shubman Gill on Monday admitted that the pressure of failing to score big in the last few innings made him nervous when he came out to bat in the second innings of the second Test against England in Visakhapatnam.
Gill, following disappointing performances in the opening Test in Hyderabad and the first innings of the second Test in Visakhapatnam, finally got the monkey off his back by hitting a century (104) to help India win by 106 runs.
"Honestly, I'll sum it up in just one line: My heartbeat playing the first ball and playing my last ball was the same. My heartbeat was the same throughout my (second) innings. That's how nervous I was feeling," said Gill, speaking to the host broadcaster.
"That's what I was actually talking to Rahul (Dravid) sir this morning when the England team was batting, it (heartbeat) was quite weird... I've never experienced anything like that. It was something different that I experienced yesterday," said Gill, who did not come out to field on Monday due to a thumb injury he suffered while fielding on the second day.
Gill, who scored 23 and 0 in the opening Test which India lost by 28 runs, said it was not the "outside pressure" that was bothering him but the expectation he had from himself that was weighing on his mind.
"Obviously, not being able to score runs in the previous matches... and it was not only the expectations you know that are outside, but the expectations that I had for myself.
"And, I was also disappointed with the way I got out in the first innings here and in the first Test in Hyderabad. So all the expectations, I was just a bit disappointed with myself, maybe that was the reason (for the nervousness)".
On whether the negative publicity on social media was playing on his mind and making him nervous, Gill said it did not matter to him.
"I don't read the newspapers, I don't really go on social media to try and look for what people are saying there. If you are not doing well, I don't expect someone to tell me I'm not doing well. I know myself I'm not doing well. More than anything else, it was my own personal disappointment," he said.
On his muted celebrations following the century, Gill said had he scored a double-ton, he certainly would have celebrated. The customary bow he takes after reaching a landmark was missing and it was not lost on the spectators.
"I missed out on a big one yesterday. I didn't feel like the job was done, so I didn't like celebrating like that. I thought once I get a double hundred or a 150 I'll celebrate."
"In the first Test, I was trying to take a bit safer approach and and, maybe, that's not the way I've grown up playing my game. And this Test match was all about me trying to play how I feel like playing and that's what I told myself."
Gill lauded Yashasvi Jaiswal's double century in the first innings here.
"New people coming in are all so fearless, and it is so much fun to watch them, especially when he is batting. The way he approaches his game, it's just fun to watch. And it's not wild swinging; it is very calculated. He knows when to take the risk, he knows when to put the bowler under pressure."
He also agreed that T20 had made Test cricket more entertaining.
"Yeah, it definitely has played a role because batters are more fearless in playing their shots. They are not worried about playing the big shots, there is no fear."