It always seems to happen about now. Roused from his slumber, the England cricket team physiotherapist answers a knock at his door to find himself facing a glum crowd.
First in the queue, a bowler with the niggly groin. Behind him, a wicketkeeper with bruised hands and a batsman with a wrenched hamstring. Then there's the guy with the Achilles, the bad back, the migraine and the broken shoelace.
"Must be time for the Ashes again," mutters the physio as he gets to work.
It's almost become a tradition. As soon as the peak of an Australian bush hat emerges over the horizon, English cricketers go down like flies.
The 2001 series in England was bad enough. Nasser Hussain, the captain, managed just three of five Tests, Graham Thorpe and Ashley Giles one. Michael Vaughan (knee problems) and Andrew Flintoff (hernia) missed the entire shebang.
The touring side, meanwhile, went through virtually unscathed, captain Steve Waugh missing one game with a calf injury. Still hobbling, he returned and scored a century in the final Test.
In the next Ashes series, however, things got worse still.
Hussain would probably have expected to field an attack of Andy Caddick, Darren Gough, Giles and Matthew Hoggard backed up by Flintoff. By the fourth Test, only Caddick was still standing.
Gough and Flintoff never took to the field. Simon Jones, first-choice back-up and great white hope, was carried off on a stretcher on the first day of the series with a ruptured knee and never returned.
Giles played one game before breaking his hand when struck by Harmison in the nets. Things got dafter still when Chris Silverwood was flown in as a replacement, bowled four overs, hurt his ankle and went home.
An odd thing has happened in the past few weeks, however.
Australia are back in town and Englishmen are heading out of the physio room rather than into it.
All rounder Flintoff, yet to play against Australia in Tests, has surprised everyone with his rapid return from ankle surgery. Jones has also recovered from a back problem to bowl at refreshing pace at the start of the English summer.
DODGY HIP
True, experienced batsman Mark Butcher is crocked, but that is a long-term problem. Otherwise, only Giles, yet again, is a worry with a dodgy hip.
There is still plenty of time before the start of the first Test on July 21 for the aches and pains to return -- and for mental scars to reopen, perhaps -- but it is almost as if England fancy the challenge.
Considering 2001 and 2003, they might also argue they deserve the rub of the green over the next few months.
Ricky Ponting's magnificent Australians are the clear favourites and have more facets to their game as well as more quality.
But age may be catching up on them, even if their rivals are not. The entire first-choice team, except Michael Clarke, will be over 30 by the end of the tour.
Opening batsman Matthew Hayden, interviewed by The Australian newspaper, suggested there was also a new mental freshness about England.
"You look at the last generation of cricketers under Nasser Hussain, they had a lot of senior players but they had very much a losing mentality against Australia," Hayden said.
"These guys, to a certain extent, are a little fresher in that way."
A little physical freshness for once might help England's cause as well.
