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Did Shami Contemplate Suicide?

July 24, 2024 12:34 IST

IMAGE: Mohammed Shami went through a tough phase in his career and personal life in 2018. Photograph: Mohammed Shami/Instagram

Mohammed Shami went through the toughest phase of his career in 2018 when he had to battle his way against allegations of match-fixing levied by ex-wife Hasin Jahan, which even forced the pace bowler to contemplate 'suicide', his close friend Umesh Kumar revealed.

Jahan had alleged that Shami had received money from an unnamed Pakistan woman for match-fixing following which his BCCI central contract was withheld, while there was another complaint filed against him by the Kolkata police on charges of adultery and domestic violence.

However, the BCCI's Anti-Corruption Unit cleared Shami of all fixing allegations in March 2018, which also cleared his participation in the IPL.

 

'Those 30 days after the FIR was lodged in Kolkata (by his wife Hasin Jahan in March 2018) were the toughest of Shami's life. If someone was there in Shami's place, he would have broken completely and might have never played cricket again. But Shami has a lot of fighting spirit, he kept and never gave up,' Umesh, who is the MLA from Khanpur constituency in Uttarakhand, said on Shubhankar Mishra's podcast Unplugged on YouTube.

'Shami used to stay at my house during those tough times. He was fighting a lot of things during that phase but when the allegations of match-fixing against Pakistan broke out and an investigation was announced, that night he was completely shattered. He said, "I can tolerate everything but not allegations of betraying my country".

Talking about the reports of Shami wanting to committing suicide, Umesh revealed: 'It had come in the news later that Shami had then thought of doing something (end his life) that night. I remember about that night.

'I woke up in the morning at 4am to drink water, I was going to the kitchen when I saw that Shami was standing in the balcony. I was staying at the 19th floor. I knew what he was thinking about, the thoughts running in his mind, it was clear to me (the thought of suicide came to his mind). I think it was a tough night for him, it was the like of night of doom for him.

'Shami had said then: "You beat me, you punish, you hang me, I am ready for everything but I am won't accept the allegations of match-fixing against Pakistan. I can't tolerate this'. It was very tough for him."

However, life took a complete U-turn for Shami once he got the clean chit from BCCI's ACU.

'Then one day when we were having a chat, then suddenly I got a message on my phone that Shami got a clean chit from the BCCI committee. That day was the most happiest for Shami, more than maybe winning a World Cup,' said Umesh.

IMAGE: Mohammed Shami with his friend Umesh Kumar. Photograph: Mohammed Shami/Instagram

A few months later, Shami had another close shave with death when the car he was travelling in with an accident. He was just few inches away from death, but managed to get out of the car in the nick of time.

'When Shami got the clean chit we went to Dehradun. That night we saw death from very close in May 2018. We went to Dehradun, we stayed there, practiced for a few days at the stadium. When were coming back we were travelling in a car. It was early morning we both were asleep. I saw a truck hit us from the side. Shami was bleeding from the face, from the side of his head,' said Umesh.

Shami revealed that if the car had veered a few inches to the side or didn't halt in time, it could have been fatal.

'After the crash the truck driver ran away and our vehicle came to a halt just two metres short of an electric transformer and on the side there was a deep valley. Somehow, I got out of the vehicle from the back after which I was admitted to the hospital for treatment. That was very dangerous and for a moment it felt everything was over.'

Shami, who is currently undergoing rehab following a surgery for an Achilles tendon injury in February, said the hardships he faced nearly broke him but his mental toughness helped him bounce back.

'I think about two points. First is that night he (Umesh) spoke about. Then I remember for eight days I didn't sleep or eat. That was the first time I think I ate completely vegetarian both times a day for 19 days when I stayed with him. I couldn't even feel anything and he told me, 'Do you know you had vegetarian food for 19 days'.

'It depends on every person, on what they give priority to, it also depends on the other person as to how true or false they are. When you know that the other person is not important to you, then you should not leave your priorities.

'If I had not been the Mohammed Shami, the cricketer than I am today, then maybe no one would have cared about me. The media wouldn't have gone after that news if I was not Mohammed Shami. So why should I leave something which has made me the Mohammed Shami I am today?

'I am mentally very strong, all these fights are on side but at the same time you can't leave your job or give up your skills," he said.

'The allegations can break you completely, it affects you a lot, but it all depends on how strong you are mentally.'

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