The funnyside of cricket
Abhaya Srivastava
A 'Lamb', a 'Butcher', a 'Shepherd'. A 'Crowe', a 'Dolphin' as also a 'Hawk'.
No, this is not about a visit to the animal kingdom. These
are among the amusing names that have graced international
cricket over the years.
Cricket, the passionate game that it is, abounds in such
ticklish names, sure to stir the funny bone of even a prude.
What does a cricket lover make of a name like
'Sidebottom'? The Englishman played against Pakistan at Lord's
two weeks ago. In the same England line-up is 'Cork', the fast
bowler.
The country of the 'stiff upper lip' heads the list with a
(Robert Williams) 'Barber' who can nevertheless (Harry Alfred)
'Bakewell' the (George) Bean with (Robert) 'Berry'.
But the (Harry Rigden) 'Butt' of jokes is often the
(James) 'Butler', (Alan Raymond) 'Butcher', (Geoffrey) 'Cook',
(Arthur) 'Dolphin', and (Graeme) 'Fowler' who played the game
for England in the early part of this century. By 'Grace' of God
indeed for there were the famous three siblings - Edward Mills
Grace, George Frederick Grace and William Gibert Grace - who
won many a game for their country in the period 1841-1915.
Don't (William) 'Gunn' the (Charles) 'Fry' or the whole
(Charles) 'Coventry' could be after you! If this were not
enough in this (John) 'Young' country of (David) 'Browns', and
(David) 'White' there are (Wilfred) 'Flowers', (James)
'Parks', (Barry) 'Wood', (Leonard) 'Moon' and (Brian) 'Rose'
too.
A matter of (Michael) 'Gatting' it (Charles) 'Wright'?.
If Australia, who have earned the (Hammy) 'Love' of fans
to become a (Warrick) 'Darling' of the game, were not the top
team in the world, they probably would be the best 'Taylors'
ever for there have been John Taylor and Mark Taylor in their
ranks.
A tale goes thus: Once an (Ken) 'Archer' chopped off the
(Graeme) 'Beard' of his (Colin) 'Guest' and hid in a (Graeme)
'Hole' in a (Lindsay) Park under the (Clement) 'Hills' which
was found later by an (Herbert) 'Ironmonger' who handed it to
a (Barrie) 'Shepherd'. The matter was reported to (Ronald)
Pope finally. Just tryin' to be (Williams) 'Whitty' do not
lose your (Peter) 'Sleep' over the (James) 'Slight' incident.
If you are looking for (Ashley John) 'Woodcock', do not go
to the (Samuel James) 'Woods', for you will find a (Bill)
'Woodfull' in the Aussie ranks of yore.
In the West Indies (Wes) 'Hall' of fame, one will find not
only a (Malcolm) 'Marshall' but also a gritty (Seymour)
'Nurse' who attended to Kings - Frank, Lester and Collis - as
well as a (John) 'Shepherd'. No (Joseph) 'Small' task was it
for the (Cyril Arthur) 'Merry' little 'Nurse'..
The South Africans are a (Charles) 'Frank' lot - remember
how Hansie Cronje admitted to having received loads of money
and is even planning to write a frank memoir of his exploits!..
Any guesses where the disgraced cricketer gets his
impeccably suits stitched from? .Of course from the three
'Taylors' -- Alistair, Daniel and Herbert. Did the piece of
information send any (Alexander) 'Bell' ringing?.
Here, in this African country also, the (Frederick) 'Cook'
and 'Smiths' - Charlie, Frederick, and Vivian - share a
special (Gerald) 'Bond' with cricket.
It sounds incredulous but the (Donald) 'Beard'ed (Henry)
'Cave'man had his home once in New Zealand cricket side. For
non-believers, there is a (Frederick) 'Fischer'man's (Martin)
'Crowe' to vouch for it.
Our very own India has given to the world some serious
cricketers - hardly any funny names for them. It is a (Ghulam)
'Guard'ed secret though why the (Farokh) Engineer and the
(Nariman) Contrator took to cricket in this serious country.
The not-so-friendly neighbour Pakistan is not (Duncan)
'Sharpe' enough to come up with a nomenclature which could be
written about.
But then as Shakespeare rightly said 'What's in a name'?
Mail Cricket Editor
